“Lasting harmony with a woman. An undertaking in which I twice failed rather disgracefully.” ~Albert Einstein

So it’s been a while, and like two years ago I PROMISED I’d post again soon…lol..yeah sorry.

Anyway..I have a few things on my mind lately. I have a total peeve…and I know that all you lady’s know exactly what I’m talking about.. Ok, what the hell is up with guys and the photos they post on sites like hot or not…myspace..facebook??? Seriously..Do men just generaly not care what they are putting out there?? I have seen soo many bad photos of otherwise good looking men. They just don’t seem to care what pics are seen. COME ON! If you want to be noticed..post a decent pic. ADVERTISE. I’m not tryng to be shallow but as we all know the first thing anyone notices on the web is what you look like. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. Thats what gets your foot in the door. Try it out. See what happens.

It’s been forever since I’ve been here. I’ll have a new blog shortly…promise.

Alright, I’ll even this out a lil bit. Its only fair. Women have serious relationship issues too! Shit, women have the WHOLE DAMNED SUBSCRIPTION!! The other day I was talking to a friend and she mentioned how hard it is to keep the guy once you get him.  By this I mean she didn’t want him anymore.  She was bored. She knows she loves him but is no longer in love with him.  Imagine.  He worked so hard to get her..she loved the idea of it all. They fell in love, got married, had babies…and so on. THEN…all of a sudden it wasn’t all sunshine and bon-bons.  She had fallen out of love.  So had he. 

How does one deal with this.  I had a little insight from another friend (a man) who feels like there is so much pressure on the man to be the “seducer” and make her feel like they had just met. You know..the “brand new bon-bons everyday” stage. Now, I understand where both are coming from.  So where is the happy medium? Is there really one at all?  He suggests that a man make a last ditch effort to make his woman feel like the relationship is fresh and new…to be the man she wants….and if it doesnt work to hit the road.

I suppose that is fair.  But, women cant always expect the man to be the one to make all the moves, to be the one to keep things alive, to be the sole seducer. Women need to also step up and make that effort too.  I can honestly say it bothers me when a woman complains about how the relationship is going down the tubes, but sits on her ass and wants the man to come to her..always.  WHAT IS THAT???!!!! Get off your ass, quit feeling sorry for yourself, grow up and remind him why he fell in love in the first place!!!!  I’ll never let my man forget why he fell in love with me…I will remind him all of the time.   That just sounds natural to me!! That’s why relationships fail!! PEOPLE GET LAZY!! They get lazy and switch on the “Auto Pilot” and let life take them places they don’t even want to go!! GET A GRIP PEOPLE!!!

On the other hand some cases are too far gone. The relationship slips into atrophy. Sad, yes, but none the less a fact of life.  Seriously, people, if you have tried to remind each other of the way you ended up falling so in love with each other, and nothing seems to spark that fire in your heart…you may need to look deep inside and figure out what YOU really want.  Maybe stop obssesing so much about what THEY want (since they are so indecisive anyway). You can’t squeeze blood from a rock.  You don’t want to be miserable the rest of your life when you KNOW that there could be “that perfect someone” out there. Sometimes its just better to cut your losses and move on. I know its hard to let go..but sometimes you just have to. And I promise it wont kill you.

I’ll never understand why, but the guy that most girls seem to want is the one who sits idle and lives “the life” vicariously through his savvy, suave “ladies man” type of friends. But women hardly get to see a man for what he’s worth because he either has no confidence at all or sadly mistakes ego for confidence and throws it around like candy at a parade.. Women like the attention from that type of man, yes but there is a point at which it just gets old. “Too much of a good thing?” (HA! Right! That’s always the mans side of the story).

But really, when a man is overly concerned about what kind of impression he makes, he’s not really thinking about what women want anymore. Instead he’s thinking about what kind of competition he’s up against. It gets to a point I think where women aren’t even a variable in the equation. That’s what we call “metro sexual”. I’m not sure about other ladies but I’m certainly not interested in a guy that can sport J-Lo shades and uses more moisturizer and hair products than I do…AWKWARD!! Since when are women attracted to men prettier than they are? WTF?? Right?

Now back to the confidence issue….It’s much nicer when a guy is more confident in who he is rather than what he makes himself out to be. I understand that its natural for all male species to “put on that show” for the ladies. For instance the peacock…the males have that big ass pretty tail and strut around like they do, getting ALL the chicks…ha-ha. And they seem happy enough, but I’m not sure it always has to be that extreme. Tigers and bunnies eat there young when they stress out…and they say that that’s nature. Damn good thing humans sat that one out huh? I wouldn’t be around if we hadn’t. Whew! What I’m saying is…thank goodness for evolution. I like a man who can be happy with himself. Without all the hair products and fancy regalia. I like a real man like a fat kid likes cake.

Why are guys so weird??? Do they even know what they want?? I don’t really think that most of them do. Its funny, you hear some guys say..”Man, I hate being lonely…” or “I wish I had someone like that” or “It’d be nice to come home to someone after work”. Blah Blah Blah you hear it all. But those same guys are the ones that are single the longest…seriously. What is going on there? They have a series of one night stands (if it even lasts the whole night), then continue to complain that they are “so lonely”.. Is that just a ploy to get the attention of the next unsuspecting victim? Or is it a case of instant gratification because they have low self esteem? Or is it something else altogether?? I am genuinely curious.

It never fails when a bunch of girls go out they are going to get hit on.  But you almost always have the awkward guy that looks you up an down and takes for freaking ever to get around to coming and talking to you. . hahaha. Then 9 times out of 10 they don’t know what to say or how to keep a conversation going.  Poor guy. It could have been sufficiently awkward for me too but I was prepared because…i seen it coming from a mile away.  How sad.

 I’d like to also like to add to what I wrote below that the only time I beleive man has control over the situation is when he has truely “charmed”  or “captivated” her.  That is the point when most women lose control of the situation, voluntarily or involuntarily (preferably involuntarily )  So…guys if you think you have a woman almost “convinced” or “persuaded” I think you might be on the wrong track and you might want to try to take it to the previous level and stay there with that particular girl…Try a different approach next time with someone else.  I know that when a guy tries to hard to win me over…its done. But who knows… maybe that’s just me?? Any other opinions?

OK, I was asked recently what my perspective on the art of seduction is and I gotta say…..omfgosh!!  There are so many men out there that need a hand (or a freaking book) It’s really kind of fascinating …You know what I’m talking about ladies.  Some guys have it and some guys….well, just don’t.  It is an art form and if it’s not executed properly, you end up either horrified completely or feeling immensely sorry for the guy.  Neither is a good position for either person involved. :(  Have you ever seen night at the Roxbury? Omfg! ya… nuff said! 

Also, guys must understand that women know that there is a fine line between charming and deceiving and, yes, most of us pick up on it.  There are those two types of seducing…you can have us completely charmed or you can have us merely convinced…we allow both to happen. But only one will ever get you where you want to be.  Hint: Confidence is key…conceit is “butt”!!! 

Read on, I have some seriously comical stories that I will be posting in the near future. In the meantime you can post a comment and I’ll try to respond in a timely manner.